From Google News

A reader asked, "I have been married for 8 years and I think my husband is depressed. His moods have gone up and down throughout our entire marriage. Whenever I bring this up to him he gets upset, but his depression is beginning to effect his work and our marriage. I don't understand why he won't admit he is depressed, and is there anything I can do to help him realize that he is depressed?

Answer: It is not surprising that your husband does not want to admit that he is depressed. Men only account for about one in every 10 individuals diagnosed with depression. The majority of individuals diagnosed with depression are women, which leads to the question, "Why are there so few men diagnosed?" At one point, depression was a "woman's disorder" associated with hormones and premenstrual syndrome. So does this mean that only women suffer from depression? Of course the answer is no.

Unfortunately, in our society more men go undiagnosed with depression than women due to the stereotype of depression being one of a female condition or of a fear of being seen as weak. The reality is that depression affects both men and women. The symptoms of depression are similar for women and men, but the difference is how they are manifested. This would depend on how the individual copes with stressors in their life. Men tend to express more anger when depressed, whereas women will have crying spells.

If symptoms of depression included anger, blaming, lashing out at others and alcohol abuse, then more men would be diagnosed with depression as these symptoms are usually more common in men who suffer from depression than women. Men are also less likely to let others know how they feel and if they are depressed; this could be one of the reasons why your husband gets upset when you bring up the topic of depression.

There are several reasons why depression is not recognized in men and why they don't seek help. Some reasons include:

• Men are brought up in our society to be "strong," so they tend to deny having problems or may feel like they are supposed to solve it themselves.

• Depression in men can affect sexual desire leading to performance issues. Men may also feel that performance problems are related to their manhood, when actually it is caused by depression.

• Men are often unwilling to admit that they have a problem for fear of being viewed as "weak."

• Obvious signs of male depression are not as easy to diagnose, as men are less likely to show typical symptoms of depression which are crying, sadness, loss of interest in activities and low self esteem. Instead men who suffer from depression are more likely to keep their feelings concealed, exhibiting more aggression and irritability.

Try approaching your husband in a non-confronting matter and tell him that you love him, but are concerned about him and you only want to help him. Listen to what he has to say and follow-up with the fact that you want him to be happy and that you need his help to accomplish this.

However, if the symptoms of his depression do not go away or escalate then he may need to seek professional help. No matter what, always show him your love and support.

Michelle Aycock is a licensed psychotherapist. Her office number is 912-233-4294. Her website is www.coastaltherapist.com. Submit a family relationship question at michelle@coastaltherapist.com.